Communication Core Values in Groups and Individuals: Pop-Culture Breakdown
We’re spending the month of July talking about communication core values and how we can use them as a tool to understand our own habits and be intentional about communication. (Check out our introduction post here, and follow us on instagram and linkedin for more content!)
When Julie and I dive into a subject, we . . . really dive in. We think about it constantly. So of course, when I spent part of the holiday weekend on a (cough) multi-hour joyful media binge, communication core values - both individual and GROUP - were on my mind.
On the surface, the two pieces I watched couldn’t be more different: one based on a 1990’s-era book series about a group of tween girls who start a babysitting business and experience the triumphs and tragedies of middle school . . . and the other, a hip-hop musical about America’s founding fathers.
But I’d theorize that Kristy Thomas of The Babysitter’s Club (the brand new Netflix series) and Alexander Hamilton of the eponymous musical (the filmed version of the original Broadway production) have more in common than you’d think. Their outsize ambition is only part of it.
But first - let’s talk a little more about the interplay of personal and group communication core values.
As a refresher, a communication core value is a word or phrase that describes both the habits and aspirations of how you want to be seen, how you want to feel, and/or the effect you want to have. We say habits because your CCV’s include those parts of your communication that feel ingrained and automatic - patterns of behavior. We say aspirations because, of course, we as adult humans do actually have some control over how we operate as communicators.
But it’s not just individuals that develop habitual communication core values, or have the power to incorporate aspirational CCV’s. Human beings are essentially social animals. When groups of us communicate together often enough, we develop communication “micro-societies”. All these different groups - family, workplace, social life, etc. - have their own CCV’s.
The interplay of personal CCV’s and group CCV’s is part of what makes communication so complex - and a perfect example of why we rail against the “tips and tricks” concept of teaching communication. Every scenario we find ourselves in has its own “rules of engagement”, and we can adjust (or not adjust) to those rules both consciously and subconsciously.
Your subconscious brain has one main goal at all times: to SURVIVE. Survival is dependent on safety. The feeling of safety comes from a few places, but the acceptance of a group is a huge one. We will do a lot - change our voices and communication styles, our look, our mannerisms, our goals, even our core beliefs - in order to avoid being thrown out into the metaphorical cold. Ostracization = death.
Our conscious brain has a different set of goals, and many of them can be summed up in one word: to SUCCEED. That primal instinct to belong lives alongside another instinct: to be recognized for our contributions, to be seen as unique and important, and perhaps to be a part of something “bigger” than ourselves.
So, friends, follow me down the path of nerddom, as I share with you how the BSC and the central characters of Hamilton - as individuals and groups - share remarkable similarities in communication style.
Do these characters fall in with each other so well because they fit broad dramatic archetypes (The Fiery Leader, The Quiet but Emotionally Intelligent One, The Arty Dramatic One, The Fabulous One…)? Perhaps. But where do character archetypes come from? They come from humanity, from the way human beings behave in the world. (We’ve all met a Kristy.) So, do we self-identify as one of those types and adjust our communication and role within a group dynamic accordingly, or the other way around?
OK, OK, let’s come out of that rabbit hole for now (but keep your eyes peeled, as we’ll be talking WAY more about that in a later piece!).
For superfans of either or both of these stories, you may already know how these characters play off of each other for good and for DRAMA . . . but here are a few group core values that I identified:
BSC group communication core values -
Ambition - drive
Demonstrating loyalty to group and cause
Standing up for kids/each other
Emphasis on emotional intelligence
Hamilton group communication core values -
Ambition - drive
Demonstrating loyalty to group and cause
Standing up against tyranny
Emphasis on cleverness and charisma
(Told you they had a lot in common.)
As we think deeply and necessarily about diversity, equity, and inclusion right now, stories can help us understand why certain group dynamics show up over and over again - and perhaps why those individual character archetypes show up as well.
One of the reasons why a generation of teenage girls fell in love with the Baby Sitter’s Club is that we recognized the magic of a group of unique girls who truly supported each other, even through conflict and heartbreak and drama. They were more and better than the sum of their parts. It’s a kind of magic, and when humans get it right, we can do brilliant things together.
Diversity of thought, experience, personality, talent, and yes, communication core values make group outcomes better. Healthy groups allow individuals to bring their uniqueness to the table, learn from each other, and stay flexible in how they listen and express themselves within the group.
Here are three arenas that will make or break a group communication dynamic:
How well we listen. As groups form, dominant personalities tend to set the tone, as do appointed leaders - but quieter personalities can still have a profound effect on how the group operates, as long as their voices are considered valuable and given space. Whose voice is given precedence? What kind of role is everyone in the group taking in both expressing themselves and listening? Who is the arbiter? Who has power, and how is power distributed? How can the group (and each member) be more intentional about helping all voices be heard?
How much we value individuals for their uniqueness. Groups coalesce around common beliefs and goals - they also coalesce around common fears and common enemies: something to fight for, and something to fight against. Within that dynamic, how does the group handle dissent from the norms and beliefs it has established? How does it handle the addition of someone whose communication core values, for whatever reason, are extremely different from everyone else’s? Do we allow for flexibility in changing roles, changing beliefs, accepting and even celebrating difference, or do we demand conformity? Are some people pressured to conform more than others (one of the many places where bias shows up)? Can we celebrate the individual accomplishments and talents of each group member, or have we built a group full of toxic competitiveness? How can the group (and each member) honor and amplify the unique gifts of each individual?
How we build and maintain trust. Trust can be built in many ways, and defining intentional group communication core values is a powerful tool to do so. Once values are declared, it becomes even more important to examine how they show up in behavior, because when we perceive a difference between a stated value and our lived experience, we tend to feel betrayed and resentful and lose trust in the group. How does the group balance intent and action? Is there an assumption of good intent? When conflict, misunderstanding, or harm comes into the picture, how do we handle it? How are people held accountable? How do we make amends? How can the group (and each member) take daily, specific action to maintain and deepen trust with each other and in the group as a whole?
Take a few minutes to think about the groups, teams and communities that you are a part of. How do you function within the group? Do you feel like you have agency, the safety to be yourself, and the support to succeed? What could the powers that be in the group do to set people up for success and facilitate growth? If you are a leader, what can you do?
Whether you’re a tween (or adult for that matter) hoping to start a business with a few partners, or a group of people who desperately want to make America better for all its constituents, embracing healthy conflict, honoring individual strengths, seeking out diverse representation, styles, and values, and thinking aspirationally and intentionally about how you want to communicate is vital.
If you lead an organization and want to learn more about group communication core values, and how articulating the communication core values of your team or organization can lead to better meetings, happier and more productive staff, less stress, and more brilliance, talk to us!