SELF-LOVE with Nitika Chopra: Feeling your feelings, moving through grief, and living out loud
Julie and Casey sit down with Nitika Chopra (founder of Chronicon) to talk about building a platform and community to celebrate and elevate the lives of chronically ill folks. Along the way, they talk about the medicine of feeling all your feelings (including grief), why “you can fix your problems via your THOUGHTS!” can be abusive, hearing the voice of the divine (whatever that looks like for you), and the revelatory power of Idina Menzel’s voice.
TOP TAKEAWAYS
Nitika’s journey - from running a beauty and self-love publishing platform to talk show host to community creator for people dealing with chronic illness
Nitika saw chronically ill folks as being in the same boat the people of size were years ago: being ignored by the fashion and beauty and fitness industries because they assumed they wouldn’t want or didn’t need products and services built for them. “Oh, you’re sick now. Bye.”
It’s estimated that 133 million people in America have a chronic illness.
When it comes to living inside American hustle culture (particularly as a founder), Nitika is “not interested in conforming”.
Just as curvy folks want to be celebrated for who they are RIGHT NOW AS THEY ARE (not for losing weight), the lived experience of chronically ill people deserves to be celebrated in all its fullness.
The mission of Chronicon is not to make a case about the worthiness of chronically ill people or about “fitting in” to a wider culture—it’s about owning and honoring the full experience and the superpowers of chronically ill people. What does it look like not just to survive, but to thrive?
What can we learn from the lived experience of chronically ill folks? Perhaps the benefits of what Nitika calls “spiritual surrender”. After spending so much time working and striving to heal her body, she was brought to a point where she finally accepted what WAS and could be truly present. “This is our body, and it is doing the best that it can, and we can love it no matter what. And from THERE, we can live.”
Part of the subtle and important difference between that spiritual surrender and feeling like a failure is allowing yourself to grieve. Grief allows us to process the sadness of losing something you wanted without the shame of wanting it in the first place.
Spiritual surrender doesn’t mean that you stop striving, learning, fighting, etc.
So often, we teach the things we most need to learn (Casey, Julie, and Nitika all have experienced this). For Nitika, teaching self love has helped her to address many, many years of self-hatred.
Who gave Nitika permission to fight for herself? God, and her spiritual practice. At 15, at a serious low point, she heard a message that carried her through: “It’s not about you.”
So much of “wellness/spirituality/self-help” culture spreads a message of manifesting your way out of your problems—as so many do, Nitika found herself trying to heal herself via belief, and felt like a failure when she didn’t heal. To be clear, this “you can get rid of your problems by repeating mantras and changing your mindset” (and its dark mirror, if you still have problems, it’s because you didn’t believe hard enough) version of “wellness” and “spirituality” perpetuates abuse.
We’ve been conditioned by American culture to numb out and avoid feeling our pain, but according to Nitika, “Dealing with our pain, our truth about our pain is one of the greatest medicines in our life. There’s so much wisdom and medicine inside of our pain and suffering. It’s not a place I choose to stay - I don’t want to marinate in it or bring others down by spreading my pain everywhere, but when you give yourself permission to FEEL it, you allow it to be released and to move and take shape and move ON.”
Singing feels like home to Nitika. Seeing Idina Menzel in Rent on Broadway was a revelation to her—“Women can SOUND like that?” Her programing was that women should be neat and poised and small and tidy and not “flaunt their spirits”. And NOW, she’s part of the Resistance Revival Choir, and on their debut album!
Nitika Chopra is the founder of Chronicon, a media and events company, dedicated to elevating the lives of those living with a chronic illness. Nitika was diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of 10 and psoriatic arthritis at the age of 19 and lived over 17 years of her life being defined by her conditions. In 2010 she decided to take all of the lessons her health journey had taught her and use it to help others with the creation of her online magazine Bella Life. Since the start of her entrepreneurial journey Nitika has hosted her own TV talk show on Z Living called Naturally Beautiful, hosted over 40 events with hundreds of guests in attendance and has created dynamic partnerships with over 150 brands in the wellness space. After 10 years in event creation, Nitika launched Chronicon in the fall of 2019, focused on those living with a chronic illness. The event sold out, had over 2,000 livestream viewers, high-level brand sponsors and has been growing ever since. Now, Nitika is excited to announce that Chronicon is expanding online with The Chronicon Community, a new, accessible online space with inspiration, advocacy, and empowerment for chronically ill folks across the globe to connect. Follow her for daily inspiration @ChroniconOfficial.