SELF-COMPASSION with Dr Maya Borgueta

Julie and Casey head out to Oakland to sit down with Maya Borgueta, founder of Stella Nova Psychology - they dive into emotional labor, how diversity movements in the workplace might be set up to fail, imposter syndrome, self-care, Chopin, and why beating yourself up is NOT, in fact, the secret to productivity. 

TOP TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:

• It’s important to separate “shame” (“I am bad”) from “guilt” (“I did a bad thing”), particularly in thorny conversations about racism and diversity/inclusion.  (Thanks Brene Brown)

• If you’re asking your employees to do the work of helping your workplace be more diverse and inclusive, you may be preventing them from doing their ACTUAL job, and asking them to perform a ton of emotional labor.  Instead, hire an expert and give them the power to change things.

• Define your core values - both general and for communication - to give your life a north star.  They should be a little aspirational, and you won’t nail it 100% of the time.

• Imposter syndrome is pervasive, and connected to some really unhelpful ideas about what “confidence” looks like.  You don’t have to feel like a Boss Bitch 100% of the time - and if you do, maybe you aren’t being very self-reflective.

• Research says that people who are self-compassionate get more done and are more able to problem-solve than people who are self-critical . . . which might seem obvious, but is really hard in practice, especially for high achievers. 

• Self-care is a critical component of self-compassion, and it doesn’t always looks like bubble baths and face masks. Sometimes the mundane stuff is way more crucial to taking good care of yourself.

• Power = the ability to enact your agenda

Maya Borgueta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, a passionate lifelong feminist, and the founder of Stella Nova Psychology, Inc., a therapy clinic for women and non-binary professionals in downtown San Francisco. Her professional mission is to help women to live their most powerful and fulfilled lives at work and at home. Her personal mission is to pet as many cats as humanly possible. You can find Maya's work online at www.stellanovawomen.com, or by following Stella Nova on Facebook or Instagram @stellanovawomen.