INCLUSION with Ruchika Tulshyan: Goldilocks problems, breaking the binary, and building better systems
Julie and Casey chat with Ruchika Tulshyan (author, speaker, and founder of Candour) about her viral HBR article on imposter syndrome, how to handle feedback (giving it and receiving it), and the gift of discomfort. Along the way, we dive into some of our favorite big subjects (authenticity, executive presence, etc.) and why the most important question to ask is: “for whom?”
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TOP TAKEAWAYS:
What do you do with conflicting feedback (the “Goldilocks” problem — “you’re too strong / you’re not strong enough” etc)? Feel your feelings, investigate it, think about it, check in with your tribe . . . and then remember that you’re existing within biased systems, and you can still stand in your power.
When it comes to the “big subjects” like authenticity, leadership, executive presence, the operative question is “for whom?” i.e, “For whom is this the “right” kind of authenticity?”
The foundation of so much discomfort is coming to terms with the fact that the world is not binary – that two things can be true at the same time (“I have experience marginalization AND I have privilege” or “my intentions were good AND I caused harm to another person”). We first have to learn to live with that complexity, and then additionally we have to learn how to communicate it.
LESSON: Discomfort and confidence can (and probably will) exist at the same time. And . . . what if a little imposter syndrome is a good thing?
Ruchika Tulshyan is the best-selling author of Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work (MIT Press). The book was described as “transformative” by Dr. Brené Brown. She’s also the founder of Candour, an inclusion strategy practice. A former international business journalist, Ruchika is a regular contributor to The New York Times and Harvard Business Review.
As a keynote speaker, Ruchika has addressed audiences at organizations like NASA, Pixar, Google and the U.S. Congress.
Ruchika co-wrote a paradigm-shifting article, Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome for Harvard Business Review, with Jodi-Ann Burey. The article was named among 20 most impactful HBRarticles of all time. Best of all, people all over the world have said it helped change their relationship with the concept of imposter syndrome!
She was selected to Thinkers50 Radar 2019 and Hive Learning's Most Influential D&I leaders list in 2019 and 2020. Ruchika is an active investor in various women-founded ventures, including Armoire, Graham & Walker VC and Backstage Capital.
A self-declared Singaporean foodie, Ruchika has lived in four countries and currently calls Seattle home.
Follow Ruchika:
Twitter: @rtushyan
Instagram: @rtulshyan
LinkedIn: Ruchika Tulshyan